Delirium in a Blurry World

Apparently John Cassaday has begun to draw Planetary issue # 27, though apparently this news is also more than a year old. I will remain optimistic, but I won't really believe it till I've read the damn thing.

"first conversation at San Diego about creating a new series: I have

just completed and delivered the full script for PLANETARY #27,

the final issue of the series.

I am now going to get drunk and find something to have sex

with. I'm home alone, so the chinchilla has a right to look nervous.

Done. Never ask me anything about it again. DONE. "

-- W

I am a being of Light, data-tripping down the Refract Super-Highway that is Sunset Boulevard. My body is the vector and my mind is Photons and Neutrons, optic spectrum enlightenment for the unwashed masses on the receiving end. Our Mirror-Op network bounces my thoughts across the IMP Field, the burnout zone which keeps us safe from the Electro Zealots, Crusader stormtroopers for The Church of Tesla.

            No one knew that the New American Civil War would be about technology. Class war we saw coming in the 2030’s and the Islamo-Mormon conflicts did turn Utah into the world’s largest manmade crater- but this, this was unforeseen. TransHuman War 2099. Cold Metallics and Electricity versus MindOp Biotech. The battle to decide if mankind would be a race of Cyber Prost Conversions or BioNetics. Slagbrained Microwave Controlled Corp Slaves or Human Wonders with fiber optic nerves and silicon brains, using the Machine Elves to hack our bodies and instantly evolve into better human beings. Tough choice right?

            So here I AM, info-porting my consciousness across the electro-magnetic wasteland, hoping the Zealots haven’t found any of our new Data-Mirrors and smashed them to interrupt my Ego-Signal. If my luck holds I’ll be telling my friends about the newest cyborg plot to snuff us out, rather than occupying the enemy’s Identikit, my personality being smashed to quarks for energy.

Data-tripping has to be the most interesting experience catalogued by man. Flying through the Info-Net I taste Guns & Roses, hear Purple, and smell Sunlight. Blue actually tastes like raspberries and Rainfall and Sadness is watching every snuff film one after the other. It’s sort of a lot like every drug experience of the last two thousand odd years of human history, only cleaner, better, and more useful.

I think about that while I bounce from mirror to mirror- interesting fact- when consciousness is converted to light, thoughts occur at light speed. Some of this century’s greatest minds spent relative years cycling through a fiber-optic network, perfecting theories and working out equations and dissertations.  I’ve thought about all this just as I brush up against reruns of the 10^th Season of Lost, which feel all velvety, yet slightly cold when:

“How are you feeling Cash?” Is that my name? Is it Johnny? No… not Johnny, that’s that the guy from the Razor music video from the Last Century Caches…I’m…

“Dan! Are you doing ok?” That’s right… I’m Dan Cash- a Freedom Fighter and Info Reality Hacker. That is one of the problems with interacting with Info-Net the way we do, because we are totally immersed, we experience the information rather than just learning it. When we touch information it can leave its touch on us. Synesthesia is what is experienced during exposure, acute temporary schizophrenia is the information hangover while our minds defrag and reassemble.  

“Yeah. I’m good.” I say as I shake William Blake verses from my field vision.  “Can you stop moving for a second? My vision center isn’t quite centered yet, and you’re streaking, which is calling up cookied-meme memories of The Flash.”

   “ So, you got anything for us?”

“ The are going to hit Mann’s Chinese Theater…at dawn. Get it?” It would be a symbolic gesture the Prots sought to make. Even under all that metal and wire, they still had a human chemistry working within them.

Glass, who had bioluminescent, chameleonic skin, looked at me, and his and his whole body changed to that lavender hue it does when he is confused. “ Doesn’t that seem a bit sentimental for Borgs?”

 I winced. My sense of touch currently registered every movement and scrape like sandpaper washed in hydrochloric acid. That and Glass had just said something monumentally stupid. I keep forgetting he was new. “Fighting Prosts is sort of like dealing with Terminators who occasionally suffer temper tantrums or shocks of nostalgia. Sometimes they blow past all their training and economy of strength and timing to unload everything they have at you in a maelstrom of lead and ionic power cells. Other times they let you go because your hair color reminds them of their mothers.”

 And because ultimately, this war is about deciding who the prototype for a better human race would end up being, protecting what we thought made us human.  The BioNetics owned the arts of L.A. and the surrounding counties, because sometimes, the greatest symphony in the world is still enough to make a nine foot tall walking tank want to cry. If any thing, our war is mainly about controlling the culture.

It is so very hard these days to find a good high.....
Vamp physiology being what it is, it has its perks its true!- but GODDAM!- it sure makes it hard to enjoy some of the finer things some of us may have dabbled in during out blood bag days.
   I write this from experience................and from the trashheap in an alley behind one of our more frequented Ventrue owned nightspots, where those fucking Bluebloods have tossed me out for trying to jam patrons to the aorta with the finest Columbian nose candy. Because I can't ENJOY THE SHIT ON MY OWN!!
  So I decide to pump the first sorority girl I find full of the junk and jugularly penetrate her on the first floor balconey. But no- The Hemoglobin Gestapo does not take kindly to such acts. Especially when the blood belongs in the body of a prominent Illinois Senator's daughter. BASTARDS!
  Soon I'll have to resort to dragging vagrants off the streets and soaking their malnurished, beery corpses with ETHER! Not a low I'm interested in exploring. The poor tend to taste like cheap liquor and grease from too many fast food meals.  Not to mention the diseases!  HOLY SHIT! Things coming out on the human market today scare the fuck out of me! Used to be we only needed to worry about the obvious STDs like Syphilus. Such pathogens are easy to avoid, as the victims were usually cop beaten negroids from Detroit, ranting like mad Hoodoo Jambi gods from the gutter as their brains were slowly, yet viciously eaten away.
   Now we have HIV Positivism. What the hell is this monstrosity!??? A disease that uncannily hides in the blood and can remain unnoticed and untreated until it can kill off an entire population? Its so terrifying you'd think the Lancea cooked it up! But wait!.... what was I asked to write about? OH YES! Point is, be careful what you feed off of. Yes its tempting to go for the unwashed, easy fodder you think won't be missed, but you risk CONTAGION!  Show some class man!  Better eating through socio-economics! But don't AIM to high, lest you get the bastard media-HUNS set on your undead, blood soaked bullet ridden carcase! BASTARDS! Fearmongering tools of the InVi.. Establishement! They all make want to puke If I still infact could! DAMMIT! I need a stiff drink off a RUM DRUkn!

 

- Dr. Kirk Morrison has been the authority on the underbelly of Kindred Society as well as its harshest critic. Thought to have gone into torpor sometime during the first Bush Administration, he was later found to have just feed exclusivly off of Valium Wives in lower Beverly Hills for the better part of the 1990s. He now unlives and rants in Chicago.

So when I'm not as tired or warding off sickness ( the demons ! They found me this Halloween obviously. FIE! Get the to an Exorcist!)  I'll give you a full update on the abject AWESOMENESS that was Alan Puchot and Kate Avakian's wedding.  I pretty much have not slep all that much since the start of festivities on Thursday, which I think contributed to my feeling less than steller. Still, it was worth it.

So until then, I leave you with this thought:

Its really disturbing to walk downstairs and find your old man watching cable porn.

Stolen from Tumblecoyote
Comment and I will:

1. Tell you why I friended you.
2. Associate you with something -- a fandom, song, colour, photo, etc.
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4. Tell you a memory I have of you.
5. Ask you something I've wanted to know about you.
6. Tell you my favorite userpic from your list.
7. In return, you need to post this on your own LJ.

To comic books.  I finally got around to organizing three freaking years worth of graphic novels and single issues that have piled up in my closet. I bought bags and boards, an extra long box ........................................ I ran out of bags and boards and I still need one more short box to deal with overflow. Then probably in a few more months, I'll need another box.

But, I sold off my last collection of books for over $400. Maybe one day when I feel like parting with this new batch ( which so far eclipses what I had by a lot) I'll get even more!

Thats my hope anyway.

 So, I have had one very strange and fucked up 24 hours.  It started yesterday at work where I had to suspend two kids from my program. One for leaving the school building and the other for punching two students. Seriously? What the hell? What was in the water yesterday? Was there some sort of extra strength crazy put in the food or something? I also work at a school where the schools administration has the ultimate say over how I conduct my own program, which is a distinct business from the actual school. Basically even though the children in my program go to the school in question, because they are part of my program, they are devoid of all the rights and privileges afforded to any unsupervised kid who wanders into the school.   

Then today while I was driving to San Marcos to pick up my brother from college I had some redneck pig-fucker spit on my car. I pulled up to a red light in San Marcos, and this guy in a giant black gas-guzzler looks over at me, and makes some sort of face at the music or my shirt, or that I was driving a Ford. SOMETHING obviously OFFENDED him, because he leaned out his window and spat right on my windshield and started laughing. The guy then pulls out his cellphone and starts calls some one. His conversation sounds like " Hey EARL. Gez whut eye jes daid. I spat on some hippy kids car. Imma gonna see if eye can spat dun in his open win-duh."  
So I roll the window up. Apparently this really pissed the redneck off, because he makes a point of getting behind me and following me halfway to my brother's dorm. I only lost him cause I made a hard turn up a hill that I didn't signal for. I hate to think of the Deliverance style, ass-fuck-banjo-hell this man obviously wished to visit upon my person. 

Last and not least, I checked my bank account tonight to find that I have been robbed. Maybe.  I have $120 worth of makeup charged to my checking account. Oh, and $7.89 at Whataburger. Now I may have blacked out after my night hanging out at the bar with Mike and Lance, so $120 of make up COULD have been a possibility. But Whataburger? This was a sure sign of foul play. So I call my bank to have them freeze my card and figure out what I need to do.  Then I pick up Alexa, head off to dinner, cash in pocket.  Then I start to think about it. I'm thinking " would the girls at my favorite bar steal my check card while its on tab, and sneak out to buy shit tons of make up and Whatajuniors?" Surely not.  " Did I loose my card? I haven't had cause to use it today...."  So I check my wallet and pull out my... wait! Its not MY check card that they returned to me last night. The card belongs to an M. Flores Jr.

So, I call the bank again to make them aware of this new development. They'll be calling me sometime tomorrow to tell me how we will solve this dilemma.  So why have I been robbed you say?? Well, I didn't use the guys card, but WHY would he take my card and buy $120 worth of goddamn make up?   My explanation is that I have been robbed by a goddamn Mexican-Transvestite. I need to make Eddie Izzard aware that there are now CRIMINAL transvestites.

................man what a day.

I did that thing again today; that thing I always say I shouldn't do but end up doing anyway. I'm referring to the act of reading the comments left after articles by the knobgoblins that infest UltimateGuitar.com. Here's the article http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/news/interviews/duff_mckagan_america_isnt_very_rock_n_roll_anymore.html

The main point of discussion in the article is Duff's McKagan's statement that "America isn't very rock 'n' roll anymore (and explanation as to why Duff's band Loaded is touring in the UK but not the USA). The offending statement follows.

"between the 50's and the 70's rock got more complicated. in the later 70's rock became the softer, and the progressively heavier stuff was now deemed "metal". it continued getting more complicated in metal. then all of a sudden, the 90's happened and rock went to being simple chords (grunge) and in the 00's metal went that way too with nu metal, and rock went to basically being punk

basically after the 80's rock devolved backwards to simple chords. it was just louder. even punk got simplified. compare the clash or the sex pistols to some contemporary punk bands, and its much simpler (assuming you consider greenday, MCR etc. as punk)"

Oh, what a surprise, another erudite musical scholar on UG thinks that grunge killed music (cuz hair metal got so much soul). I couldn't agree more, rock HAS "devolved backwards to simple chords" thanks to Nirvana. Okay, that was a bad attempt at sarcasm. I can't go down that road, it's a role I can't stand to portray.

This user is a perfect example of said role. "Ali-b912," like too many of UG's users, thinks that grunge lobotomized all talent in the music industry (save for whatever obscure metal bands they listen to, assuming they're not an even more annoying animal: the people who listen to NOTHING but classic rock, which, since Ali doesn't offer any exceptions to his chronological regression of all things rock, is probably what he is). The reference to "simple chords" indicates that Ali probably also thinks that the use of power chords is some kind of musical faux pas, though I can't imagine when or why the use of a perfect 5th interval has ever been considered a mortal sin in music, particularly in ROCK MUSIC, YOU FUCKING SNOB.

This disapproval of "simple chords" becomes even more perplexing when Ali starts to employ punk rock in his awe-inspiring rhetorical arsenal. Let's take a closer look at this statement

"even punk got simplified. compare the clash or the sex pistols to some contemporary punk bands, and its much simpler (assuming you consider greenday, MCR etc. as punk)"

What… the …. FUCK? Punk got SIMPLIFIED? PUNK GOT SIMPLIFIED? GODDAMMIT!! Statements like this almost give me an aneurism.

Before I move on, let me get back to profiling Ali as the average UG knobgoblin. In a unique and unexpected rhetorical Picard maneuver, Ali cites My Chemical Romance as a no-talent harbinger of the stupefaction of rock music. He even considers they're music to be "much simpler" in comparison to the Sex Pistols. THE SEX PISTOLS. THE – SEX – PISTOLS.

Before the punk world crucifies me for this, let me point out that I LIKE the Sex Pistols. In fact, after reading this article, I listened to "Never Mind The Bollocks, Here's The Sex Pistols" from start to finish. Then I listened to "The Black Parade," just to make sure I hadn't spent the past two years in some kind of virtual reality simulation in which My Chemical Romance's music was noticeably more complex than that of the Sex Pistols while malevolent and understandably vengeful machines siphoned off my bio-electric field for sustenance while my real eyes atrophied and I unwittingly waited around, in comparatively agreeable hallucination, for Cowboy Curtis to decide that I was ready to be unplugged and let off my diet of melted dead humans in order to fight a hopeless battle against machines who we should have just been nicer to in the first place.

Turns out that The Matrix is either still bullshit, or I'm still trapped in it, cuz MCR still sounds a lot more intricate than The Sex Pistols. I even skimmed through tabs of both albums (available with these handy hyperlinks! http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/tabs/s/sex_pistols/never_mind_the_bollocks_heres_the_sex_pistols_album_tab.htm

http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/tabs/m/my_chemical_romance/the_black_parade_album_tab.htm

) and found that Never Mind the Bollocks is just FILLED with power chords and major chords. Meanwhile, The Black Parade, though still heavy on the power chords (understandable for a FUCKING ROCK ALBUM), contains vastly more intricate guitar solos than the relatively simplistic and repetitive leads found on NMtB, in addition to containing more dynamic variety, tempo variation (occasionally changing mid-song, no less), some varied instrumentation, what with a heartrending piano ballad called "Cancer" and some strings and horns in the background of "Welcome to the Black Parade" and "Mama" (just to note a couple of examples), occassionaly electronic looping forays such as on "The Sharpest Lives" and "Sleep," and call me crazy, but I think I might have heard a key change or two in there.

Now, here's the real problem. All that dissertation I just delved into is completely irrelevant because THE SEX PISTOLS WERE NEVER CONSIDERED GREAT FOR THE COMPLEXITY OF THEIR MUSIC. I mean, come on, no one ever proclaimed The Sex Pistols to be virtuoso musicians! They were just innovative, they helped establish a new genre of music, they were offensive as hell, and they FUCKING ROCKED! Apparently they rocked so hard that no one notices that Frank Iero and Ray Toro are actually better guitar players.

"but Daniel MCR is t3h gay cuz they'r inly different on this album cuz they triyng to sound like queen!!!!!!11111 what a bunvh o fags I wish they'de cut themselves and die like real an heros"


SHUT UP fictional questioner of my words, SHUT UP and go back to your pit you sit in while beating off to Van Halen guitar solos and pictures of pre-haircut Metallica with one hand and trolling Hawthorne Heights message boards to leave tasteless messages about the death of their guitarist with the other (and for the record, I hate Hawthorne Heights, but Casey Calvert didn't deserve to die for being in a band I hate).

My point is that Ali is obviously just another stuck up classic rock snob who hasn't actually HEARD MCR's music and just assumes that they're bad because all his classic rock snob friends said so and they only think so based on the fact that so much of MCR's fan base is made up of 13-year old girls who write fan-fiction about MCR having gay sex with The Used.

Well, this line of thinking gave me an idea, a way to turn my nemeses own ignorance and homophobia against them.

I'm going to have a daughter, that's right, I'm going to sire a child, and when I do, technology will have progressed to the point that I can choose the gender (assuming that John McCain doesn't get elected, and by John McCain I mean Sarah Palin, wink wink). I will raise this girl to like GOOD music. When this girl is 13, her favorite band will be SLAYER. Note the important age, 13. This is the age where girls start to get ultra hormonal, where they start to write fan-fiction, fan-fiction that contains… GAY SEEEEEEEEEEEEEXXXXXXXXXXXXsa.

There's more to this equation than hormones and Slayer though. One girl's fan-fiction can only reach so many. That's easy enough to solve, she just has to get her friends into all her good music too, and they have to spread the word through the magic of the internet. But Slayer will only affect the metalheads polluting UG. The other barrel of the gun needs to be loaded with something that'll destroy the temple of classic rock and prog as well…

So here's the thing, I'm gonna make sure I buy more Rush CDs before I create my golden child. See, her other favorite band's gonna be RUSH. And her fan-fiction is gonna be about Slayer having gay sex with RUSH. Then all her friends and all their friends on the internet are gonna write fan fiction about SLAYER having gay sex with RUSH. If such writings can stop people from listening to MCR, then I'm sure they can stop future generations of homophobes from wanting to listen to Slayer and Rush (and while I understand the tragedy in limiting the audience of bands as great as Slayer and Rush, I'd also like to point out that this plan increases the average intelligence of the audience for both bands).

But being the pessimistic bloke I am, I fear that cutting these snobs off from rock will only turn them into something just as annoying, monocle-polishing, champagne drinking supersnobs who regard ALL rock music as inferior based on the argument that a rock song can be written with just three chords.

I just can't win.


Author's note: Yes, I realize Ali also criticized Green Day along with MCR, but I do acknowledge that Green Day's music is largely very simple. I don't think that makes it inferior though, so you can keep your damn monocle, thank you.

Yup. Starting reading it today! Its fantastic. Finally Marvel gets the cajones to take one of their 3000 superhero teams and actually put it someplace that is not New York.

Also, since Astonishing X-men was written by Joss Whedon, and is now written by Warren Ellis, it means that Astonishing can remain in the tiny category of less then ten Marvel titles that aren't currently shit.

Others in the category include: Nova, Runaways, New Avengers (despite all the Secret Invasion tomfoolery), Thunderbolts (also by Ellis) and Punisher and Punisher War Journal. I'd include Guardians of The Galaxy since its by the same geniuses who brought us Nova, but I haven't read it yet.

So, yesterday at work I had no tables in the cafeteria for my kids, because the administration wanted to use all of them to "batten down the hatches" for the "impending distaster."  I tried not to laugh, because here in San Antonio, the Friday Ike forcast was to we  expecy "some rain".  Turns out that was giving the weather way to much credit.  A hurricane nearly the size of the state itself, and it won't even make the weather in San Antonio cooler or slightly windy. This is hilarious.  Sometimes I wonder what the hell the Spanish were thinking when they built the missions here. They can't have possibly taken a look around and thought " Si. This land is will bring a bountiful harvest. The rock hard clay is fertile, and the muddy ditch running through it will provide us with all the water we need".   I say San Antonio needs to be first in line whenever a weather machine gets perfected. Mainly because weather does not happen.


Now, not that I'm not glad to be completely safe and ok. I've seen pictures of Galveston and Beaumont. I'm thankful that the roof is still over my head.  I just wish we could have gotten a sprinkle or a good crack of thunder out of the whole thing.  However, something I find infuriating is the news story that pops up on my home page first thing this morning.

"Authorities fear that tens of thousands of people who defied orders to flee will need rescue."

What the hell? No they don't! Read that " defied orders to flee" part. You were told to flee people. The government said it was "certain death" if you stayed.  So, you decided to be a moron and wait for certain death? And now you want to be rescued? You signed your own Darwin Award.  I really wish we would stop bailing out stupid people for all the idiotic decisions they make.

So, I watched this new Vampire show called True Blood. Seems kinda trashy. Interesting concept about how society deals with the revelation of vampires to the world. Synthetic blood available in six-packs at the liquor store, vampire rights activists and all that. But must of the show was a lot of swearing and HBO style shallow sex. I'll have to see how this works out.

The premier was also prefaced by a 1 1/2 hour long special on vampires and vampire culture/fiction.  It gave me an idea.

Wait for it:






Rather than the now cliche forbidden love between a vampire and his/her attraction to humans, write a story about a human stalking a totally disinterested vampiric suitor!

Bwhahaha. More on this later.

Steampunk Rock apparently.  Group of my friends are trying to bring a Neo-Victorian/ Steampunk convention to San Antonio. An admirable goal. Dragon's Lair Comics has already agreed to give them at least $500, and thats the lowest amount. They also apparenlty want to start a Steampunk themed band, about a group of absinthe addled airship adventurers.

I'm game! I'm going to be playing the bass and doing some of the vocals. The bands name is.... well we don't know yet actually.  My persona is Huxtable Herodotus Crowley, gentleman Carto-Navigator.  Basically I'm the only one on the ship who has any sense, and the depredations of my shipmates lead me into a life of liver-eating bile and chain smoking. I occasionaly chart a course to an island only to discover it was not an island, but a speck of compounded cigar ash.  I also just showed up one day and started telling them they were headed in the wrong direction. No one knows how I got on the ship. I might just be a very well dressed and well read hobo.

I may also be doing serialized short stories for the SANVA website (San Antonio Neo Victorian Association) whenever it is up and kicking. This is going to be buckets of fun!

Tomorrow marks the end of my time at Larkspur Elementary. I've been there since..... its actually been so long that I forgot when I was first posted there. I'm supposed to be a floating director for the afterschool program, but the director who actually runs the sight has been sick for three or four weeks. Apparently the man has Crone's , or Chron's disease, which is some massively horrible affliction of the intestine. The fellow lost 17 pounds in the month-or-so he's been gone. 

I actually left early today, due to horrible-ness in my intestine. I felt like crap all day, but even though the director was actually coming in today, he was still going to be over an hour late, meaning I had to be there to do all the actual work that had to be done in the early hours of the day. I then came home, exploded, showered, and went to sleep. In that order thankfully.

Now I lay in bed, read, and plan tomorrow's Exalted game. I'd really like Dreams of the First Age to come out next week. And I'd really like to know that I'm getting it from Amazon, cause I hear the damn product sold out at the speed of light, and there are none left in the White Wolf warehouse. NONE.

OK. Ima go back to sleep now.

My name is Matt, and I have been away for a while.  Several years it has seemed to me, but I have finally awoken, rolled away the boulder and returned to my adoring public. During the time spent away I have burned through money, friends, domiciles, and a staggering amount of malt liqour. I was depressed you see, and angry, locked in a brain of bad wiring and anti-depressants. Things are different now.

I woke up, as if from a bad dream, ready to face the world with a smile on my face and an urge to kick the brain sicknees and faulty chemistry in its saggy testicles. There have been no writings from me because there was nothing to write about. Nothing I would subject people to reading at any rate. Life is better now. I know who my friends are. I create stories people want to read. I have an adult job which I enjoy and the adoration of children everywhere. I have a girlfriend who cares about me and a sense of purpose. I will be an eradicator of ignorance and avatar of light! I will be a force in the lives of children, begging them to unlock their potential and think.  

I now know who I am. I know who I want to be, an antinomian war-monk armed only with the ancient weapon of language and heavy thrown ballistic objects.

Ordered to repost by Gray!
1) Are you currently in a serious relationship?

2) What was your dream growing up?

3) What talent do you wish you had?

4) If I bought you a drink what would it be?

5) Favorite vegetable?

6) What was the last book you read?

7) What zodiac sign are you?

8) Any Tattoos and/or Piercings? Explain where.

9) Worst Habit?

10) If you saw me walking down the street would you offer me a ride?

11) What is your favorite sport?

12) Do you have a Negative or Optimistic attitude?

13) What would you do if you were stuck in an elevator with me?

14) Worst thing to ever happen to you?

15) Tell me one weird fact about you.

16) Do you have any pets?

17) What if I showed up at your house unexpectedly?

18) What was your first impression of me?

19) Do you think clowns are cute or scary?

20) If you could change one thing about how you look, what would it be?

21) Would you be my crime partner or my conscience?

22) What color eyes do you have?

23) Ever been arrested?

24) Bottle or can soda?

25) If you won $10,000 today, what would you do with it?

27) What's your favorite place to hang at?

28) Do you believe in ghosts?

29) Favorite thing to do in your spare time?

30) Do you swear a lot?

31) Biggest pet peeve?

32) In one word, how would you describe yourself?

33) Do you believe/appreciate romance?

35) Do you believe in God?

36) Will you repost this so I can fill it out and do the same for you?

Today I stumbled upon  a newish comic book series by comics god and horrible bastard, Warren Ellis.

I giggled like a maniacal syphilis ridden-whore baby when I read it in the store.


It even has its own THEME SONG!

Theme song lyrics

- It's like Shakespeare
- But with lots more punching
- It's like Goethe
- But with lots more crunching
- Like Titanic
- But the boat's still floating
- No it's not!
- The mother(honk)ing boat is exploding!
- NEXTWAVE!
- NEXTWAVE!

- Dirk Anger
- Is one crazy mamma-jamma
- He leads HATE
- Sitting around in his pretty pink pajamas
- HATE was formed
- By the Beyond Coporation©
- Purposely
- To bring about catastrophic devastation! - - NEXTWAVE!
- NEXTWAVE! - - Do you want a haircut?
- The Beyond Corporation©'s gonna help you out
- Do you need a toothbrush?
- The Beyond Corporation©'s got an extra one
- Do you have a step-son?
- The Beyond Corporation©'s gonna rub him out
- Do you see a monster?
- Or a pirate?
- Electric emu?
- A giant sky-rat?
- A midget Hitler?!
- Or Pontius Pilate! - - Don't call your mom or your doctor,
- Just pick up the phone and call! - - NEXTWAVE! Wooawoaah
- NEXTWAVE! - - Give us a NextWave roll-call! - - MONICA!
- Is gonna microwave your (whistle)
- TABBY!
- Is gonna steal all your stuff!
- AARON!
- Is going to organize your sock drawer!
- ELSA!
- Is gonna speak with an accent!
- THE CAPTAIN!
- His name is The Captain! - - NEXTWAVE!
- NEXTWAVE!
- NEXTWAVE! Somebody please, please call...
- NEXTWAVE! - - For God's sake, somebody call NextWave...

^{READ THIS BOOK!}
Or Warren Ellis will kick you ass, and then you'll explode.

Nextwave: Healing America By Beating People Up

If you respond to this post...
1. I'll respond with something random about you
2. I'll challenge you to try something
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4. I'll tell you something I like about you
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